10 September 2013

What I Want to be happy

1. To be living in a house or apartment that I rent or own that has at least 300 square feet of garden space.

Photo of Loi Thai's garden by Jennifer Sergent of DC by Design Blog
Borrowed from boxwoodterrace.blogspot.com

Whenever I imagine my life and where I live there is always outdoor space.

2. I need to be earning about $120,000 per year.
Borrowed from agbeat.com

I am just bored with being broke as hell. What more can I say. Coupled with the reality that I am getting older and less attractive the probability of me finding a rich husband is diminishing in direct proportion to my fertility.

3. Employment that I really enjoy and excel at that allows me flexible time. I think I need to be self employed.
The women who came before me had fewer opportunities.
It's time to take advantage of the sacrifices made for me.

4. Happiness, Wisdom, Health
 (a panel from Jacob Lawrence's 1940-41 "Migration Series") 
(© Jacob and Gwendolyn Lawrence Foundation, Seattle / ARS, NY /
Museum of Modern Art / SCALA / Art Resource, NY) 

21 May 2013

It's Ok. No Problem.

"It's ok. No Problem." will be my go to answer for everything.

Hey Brandy! How are you!?
    It's ok. No Problem.
Is the sky blue?
     It's ok. No Problem.
Do you like me?
     It's ok. No Problem.
Brandy, you did this wrong!
     It's ok. No Problem.
Brandy! You really FUCKED this up? You idiot.
     It's ok. No Problem.

Why? The answer is this: No one wants to hear the real answer. No one cares what the real answer is. No one wants the burden of the real answer. Most importantly, no one is listening. 

There are rare instances in which someone really wants to know how you are, or why the sky is blue. Once in a while someone is going to like you so much that they sincerely want you to like them back. There will be times someone tells you that something is wrong so that you can correct it. Even rarer still is the time when someone tells you just how badly you fucked something up because they are really upset and disappointed and not because they are taking their frustrations out on you.

Well Brandy, how do you know if someone really wants the real answer? This is a tricky one. I think one way is if this person looks you in the eye. Another way is if a person looks at you like what does "It's Ok. No Problem." mean. If someone says, "no really I'm interested in how you feel".  If the questioner comes back with a full sentence requesting clarification go ahead and give it to them. I'm warning you this is rare though 

Usually the person asking said question will say ok. There will be a time when the questioner will just glower at you. At this point you can respond in 1 of 2 ways. #1 you can just put on what you feel is your most stupid looking face (you may need to practice in the mirror to know what this face feels like) or #2 you can say, "I don't know what you want me to say". I usually do number 2 because no matter how hard I try my #1 conveys annoyance and looks as though I think the person I am speaking to is a complete idiot.

So let's play this out the long way

Hey Brandy! How are you!?
    It's Ok. No Problem.
     I don't know what you want me to say
 Say how you feel
     I'm ok. (This is a lie. If my answer was positive I would have responded that way to begin with.)

So, Brandy? Why did you waste time writing this? 
     It's ok. No problem.
          Real answer: For the same reason you wasted time reading it.